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November, 2012:

Thanksgiving Leftover Burrito

I can’t believe it’s taken me 33 years to make a Thanksgiving Leftover Burrito. (Feel free to use that to wittily jab me for my blog-updating prowess.) Tortilla, turkey, mashed taters, and some thickened gravy, nuked for 45 seconds. Nom.

I’m working on two very diverse theories as to why it’s taken so long:

1) Having moved from the Midwest to the “more westy Midwest, but not the West, screw it, we’ll name the region after the rocks inhabiting its space” Rocky Mountain Region, which is located near the South West, and therefore, apparently affected by it; I’ve assimilated to local customs, and much more driven to eat anything supported by a Tortilla and/or covered in green chile, as is the tradition is the region.

or possibly 2,

2) Being out of bread, but having tortillas in the house.

It’s really anyone’s guess at this point which theory will prevail.

Regardless, I ate one. And I wish I would have sooner. I think we’ve all eventually reached the “screw it, I just want this food that remains in the fridge to enter my food-eating hole as fast as humanely possible” point in our early winters. After Thanksgiving, primarily. When there’s… You get it.

Necessity being the mother of invention, (to be fair, theory 1 is part of the reason theory 2 happened) I scoured the kitchen for the best way of getting rid of the last bits of Thanksgiving leftovers; the dark meat, the semi-crusted-from-being-in-the-fridge-too-long stuffing, you know, the tupperware that’s already mocking you a continual 3 days after you stuffed yourself about how many calories you ate.

And you can’t throw that stuff away. That’s admitting defeat. That’s your inner 4 year old whose mother always told to be concerned with children in Africa. That’s wasteful. That’s something reasonable, sane people do. All leftovers must be consumed.

Even if it means extending the half-life of a dish of sweet potatoes to to a double digit days, all because you couldn’t bring yourself to forcibly finish the stuff, but unable to throw it away. Because. Hey, maybe my wife wanted that last bite…

Anyway, having reached the point of no return, and committing to the finishing project, I scooped the last bit of sweet potato in my mouth while opening up the remaining dishes and assessing the situation:

3 small pieces of dark meat, check.
1.5 tablespoons of mashed potato? You betcha.
Quarter cup of gravy? Damn right.

Tortilla from the fridge, put turkey on, smear taters over, dump gravy upon, salt, pepper, close, nuke.

… and of course, it was awesome. It had no choice in the matter. It was DESTINY.

But was there room for improvement? It’s not like the Thanksgiving Leftover Situation occurs that often. That magic, distinct combination of food, that sure-you-may-have-the-same-thing-at-Christmas-but-it’s-not-the-SAME mix of food only happens once annually.

This is important. I only have 361 days to plan for the next one.

I was initially lamenting a lack of stuffing, but it’s borderline too starchy as it sits now, between the tortilla and the potatoes. GBC (Green Bean Casserole for you newbs) would have made the entire thing too gravy-ish between the mushroom soup and well, the aforementioned gravy. I pretty much abhor Cranberry sauce, (notsomuch in taste, but moreso in principal) so that’s out for me.

Of course, after assuming for a second I had just made a ground-breaking discovery, I googled it, and the 4th hit (here) had someone who posted a thing about it 2 years ago, using jalepeƱo Asadero cheese (the creamy sauce-type stuff) in addition to my ingredients. That’d definitely make it more burrito-y, but really that’s not what we’re going for here. I’d think any softer, more buttery cheese (not necessarily sauce, due to gravy concerns) like provel or something would be bombastic, if not completely unnecessary.

I’d post pics, but since I went into the project with trepidation, I didn’t really have the forethought to take a picture. Go to the link above (or if you’re lazy, here) and see pictures of what they looked like.

Taste: You know very well what it tastes like. You just ate it 3-7 days prior, but now it’s more congealed. And in a tortilla.

Texture: Well.. Mush. With bits of turkey.

JK Score: 10/10 Things that are better than Thanksgiving food? None.

That’s actually science.