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December, 2008:

Reindeer Paté

It’s like Christmas in December… On the 25th. It’s CRAAAAZY!

The stockings were all hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that I’d get some screwball tin of mashed meat made of parts of Rudolph and his buddies. Which was apparently made in Sweden. Nothing is more traditional, really. I’m sure killing/packaging/eating Santa’s sleigh crew is probably illegal in other countries. Or at least immoral. If there’s one things the Swedes are known for, it’s killing reindeer and subsequently making children cry.

The one apparently very good thing about Reindeer Paté is it’s long shelf life. In Swedish. This particular sample is “BÄST FÖRE 24 MAY 2011”. If that’s not hardcore AND Swedish, I don’t know what is.

bork bork bork

bork bork bork

This stuff comes from the UK food joint edible.com, the same place where the Chocolate Covered Ants came from.

The packaging is a little awesome and sadistic:

hardcore

hardcore

Click through for the vid of the unveiling.

The smell is weird… We ultimately decided it smelled like a pineapple-glazed ham. Which makes zero sense, but fits in with the theme of the day appropriately.

squishy.  kinda.

squishy. kinda.

The can suggest that it’s “Best served spread on hot buttered toast with a glass of mulled wine or a shot of gold vodka!”

I’ve got some crispy buttered baguette wafer thingies and beer. Close enough.

nom nom nom

nom nom nom

And of course, Boris was interested.

dogfood?

dogfood?

Texture: My best approximation is Braunschweiger, which really is the poor man’s paté. Nothing too bad, really. A little less whipped than the poor man’s version, with appropo tiny chunks of Blitzen, etc throughout. Also, kinda dry.

Taste: Oddly sweet, very salty, but still that same Braunschweiger-esque flavor, but a little bland and more reindeer-ish. Which to my Midwest-raised taste buds, taste like regular deer.

JK Score: 3/10 Oddly un-eventful. Not bad, just not as awesome as I’d expect magical, flying mammals to taste.