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November, 2008:

White Castle Crave Case

Men, being the manly bunch of manly men we are, love a good challenge.

Why did Edmund Hillary climb Mount Everest?

Why did Columbus set for the Americas?

Why did Jim West beat a bear to death with a stick?

Because they could.

Well, except for Jim, who was being attacked by a freaking bear.

So, obviously, when a fast food joint; in this case, White Castle, puts something on the menu that has 30… Well, 30 anythings, but in this case, 30 White Castle burgers in it, what’s a man (or two) to do?

You eat those damn burgers.

Sadly, we’re apparently getting old, and we also had both ate two other regular-human-sized meals prior in the day, so with this being a last-minute thing, we forced our wives to help out. Like any real man would. I think. We were able to force the ladies to eat 3 each, leaving Eric and myself with 12 each.

For those who aren’t privy, White Castle is the burger chain in the Midwest and East coast so famously-features in the Harold & Kumar movie of a similar end-of-title. They’re famous for their “steam-grilled” burgers, full of onion and pickle goodness. With cheese, of course.

Here’s the start of the whole debacle:

20081124-caseunveiling (Custom)
The first 14 went by without much incident:
20081124-14down (Custom)

Getting a little cocky:
20081124-halfway (Custom)

Then eight more:

20081124-22down (Custom)

Then….things got a little hairy. Keep in mind, this entire excursion took place over the course of 26 minutes. The photo above was taken at the 12-minute mark. After that, we both started sweating. I could feel my heartbeat in my face.

28 down:

20081124-28down (Custom)

This was at the 18-minute mark.

The rest of the time was spent trying to keep everything consumed thus-far inside, and focus on the task at hand; finishing those last two bastards. They were taunting us, like little mean-spirited onion-topped babies. That taunt people.

After a bit of coaxing, we both headed into the fray:

20081124-lastones (Custom)

Eric working on his part:

20081124-souplast (Custom)

Me on mine:
20081124-bugereat (Custom)

And, the aftermath:

20081124-aftermath (Custom)

I guess per usual, I’ll bust out the actual review:

Texture: Slyders are awesome. Since they’re ‘steam grilled’ the buns are nice and kinda-soggy, the cheese is all melted up, and the burgers are never burnt. It’s like…perfection. Kinda.

Taste: Hope ya like onions. And pickles. Cuz they’re both prevalent. And really, that’s what hits you around burger 10. The first eight are cake. It’s just rough-going after that point.

JK Score: (burger 1 – 9/10 burger 12 – 1/10) Broke it out for the sake of this experience. The first one was awesome, the last one literally almost made me vom. Had I planned a day around this excursion, things would have been much more bearable, and dare I say, I think the entire case could have readily been handled by two men of significant stature. Or Eric and myself, at least.

Just for the sake of nasty: a single Slyder with cheese has 170 Calories, 9 Grams of Fat, 360mg of Sodium, and 13g of Carbs.

Multiply that by 12.

I love America.