http://www.thingsjkeats.com "Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are." Thu, 01 Apr 2010 03:51:41 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Big bear! Big bear chase me! ...and... be orange flavored. And gummy. It was bound to happen. The irradiation of all of our food items, while making them nice and glossy and longer-lasting, was bound to have side effects. And sadly, the first to be affected are ... http://www.thingsjkeats.com/?p=380 Anyone that knows me, knows 3 things about me: 1) I'm not proud of my third nipple, but I'm not ashamed of it, either. 2) I served two tours in 'Nam. 3) I like spicy crap. Seriously. Give me a nuclear Bloody Mary with Dave's Insanity Sauce after a heavy ... http://www.thingsjkeats.com/?p=375 This is the part where I rant about how much things are derivative now, and excessively link back to previous posts. Just for the record. That should be here. But I'm lazy. So... Yah. They're M&M's... Peanut butter M&M's obviously, which is a non-original derivitive itself ... http://www.thingsjkeats.com/?p=371 BACON. WAFFLES. Yes, it's derivative. Yes, it's fucking awesome. BACON. WAFFLES. [caption id="attachment_369" align="aligncenter" width="225" caption="BACON. WAFFLE. DAMMIT."][/caption] I'm not even reviewing these. 10. Done. Awesome. http://www.thingsjkeats.com/?p=367 A glancing backstory: my wife left me last summer, we got divorced. It sucked, I moved on, and am much, much happier and better off now. The end. That's it. Now you're completely up to speed. So, I come home from work a few days before Christmas and have ... http://www.thingsjkeats.com/?p=360 So, Taco Bell, those masters of re-hash, have done it again. They took something that's basically exactly the same as 79% of the rest of their menu, threw some nacho cheese sauce on it, a "New!" label, and BAMMO! Nirvana achieved, seas part, balloons fall, profits rise, and ... http://www.thingsjkeats.com/?p=356 Just a friendly random site-promotion: A lot of people mis-email me. I got sick of it, so I started screwing with people. Results are here: http://www.wrongaddy.com Also, be sure to check out http://www.omeglechats.com where other people randomly screw with...other... people. Yah. -JK http://www.thingsjkeats.com/?p=351 You know what I freakin' love? Wheat party snacks from Israel that are flavored like fried chickpeas... AND ARE FUCKING VAMPIRES. Seriously. So good. Oh. AND VAMPIRE-ISH. Like, you know, as in the blood-sucking dudes who get killed by Blade? (Or Buffy, pick your poison). I'm talking real, ... http://www.thingsjkeats.com/?p=344 I've had it up to here with the censorship in America today. If those brilliant bastards at Mars want to sell a Snickers Fuck, they should be able to. Why they tried putting out a candy bar called Snickers Fuck, I have no idea. But "The Man" ... http://www.thingsjkeats.com/?p=339 OK, so I like bacon. I think this much is obvious. I’ve actually had bacon for breakfast both Saturday and Sunday this weekend. My apartment smells of the glory that is bacon, and visitors to my humble abode are both amazed and astounded. “Where did you ... http://www.thingsjkeats.com/?p=333