Anyone that knows me, knows 3 things about me:
1) I’m not proud of my third nipple, but I’m not ashamed of it, either.
2) I served two tours in ‘Nam.
3) I like spicy crap.
Seriously. Give me a nuclear Bloody Mary with Dave’s Insanity Sauce after a heavy night of drinking, and I’m [...]
Posts under ‘Snacks/Chips’
Doritos 3rd Degree Burn Scorchin’ Habanero
Bissli Falafel Flavored Wheat Party Snacks
You know what I freakin’ love?
Wheat party snacks from Israel that are flavored like fried chickpeas… AND ARE FUCKING VAMPIRES.
Seriously. So good.
Oh. AND VAMPIRE-ISH. Like, you know, as in the blood-sucking dudes who get killed by Blade? (Or Buffy, pick your poison). I’m talking real, hardcore, honest to jeebus vampiric [...]
Doritos Flavor Shots
Editor’s note: Seriously, this is my last Doritos entry for a while. I can’t help it if they keep raising the awesome/stupid bar, though.
You know what I love? Jeff Goldblum in “The Fly“. Willem Defoe, no matter how creepy he is normally, in “Spiderman 2″, and kinda 3. Kevin [...]
Doritos Diablo Enchilado
Ole!
Check it out. I’m keeping things semi-seasonal-related still. Cinco De Mayo is just around the corner, and I happened upon some awesome-looking Doritos at my local store, so I was all “hell yah”.
Seriously. Hell yah. There’s a DEVIL on the bag. And he’s ON FIRE. Because [...]
Wasabi Green Peas
Forgive me father, it has been… *checks* Crap. Almost two months since my last entry.
Stupid life, always getting in the way. Also, bears on tricycles. They get in the way too. I never really understood why, either. They just seem to have this uncanny ability to always be directly [...]
Pringles Baked Wheat Stix – Pizza
Freaking sellouts.
I hate it when bands who’ve built their success on kicking ass have a lull, and then pander to mass marketing techniques to get their name back out there in the public eye.
With such great hits like “Lady”, “Mr. Roboto”, “Blue Collar Man”, and “Come Sail Away”, it’s [...]
Doritos “The Quest” Chips
(An open letter to Doritos, by JK)
Dear Doritos,
You suck. You’re mean. Who do you think you are? Here you are, one of the last bastions of good old American fat-assery, forcing your loyal customers to go out and actually do things? Not even that, you’re DEMANDING they figure out [...]
Special K Snack Bites
Calorie Wars
Episode I: The Snack Bags
It is a period of snack war. Food
companies, striking from hidden
corporate headquarters have won their first victory
against the evil Diet Empire
During the battle, food companies managed
to steal secret plans to the Diet Empire’s
ultimate weapon, the DON’T EAT SO MANY CALORIES….
You’ll just have to picture that scrolling by on [...]
Calbee Shrimp Flavored Chips / Saki Ika Prepared Squid HOT
Get ready for some hard hitting journalism from the road, Jack Kerouac style. I’m in the Bay Area for a little vacation. Our trip took us into Chinatown, where I figured I was sure to find something… interesting to take a look at. In the basement of some shop, I ran across [...]
Burger King Ketchup & Fries Flavored Potato Snacks
Have It Your Way®, or the highway…
Food marketers are a weird bunch. For whatever reason, marketing folks like to try stuff out in certain regions, and screw the rest of the world over. Denver McDonald’s have Green Chile Cheeseburgers (and they f’ing rock). Down south and out west, they had the [...]
