Posts under ‘Fast Food’

So, Taco Bell, those masters of re-hash, have done it again. They took something that’s basically exactly the same as 79% of the rest of their menu, threw some nacho cheese sauce on it, a “New!” label, and BAMMO! Nirvana achieved, seas part, balloons fall, profits rise, and I eat it.
In that order.
To [...]

Men, being the manly bunch of manly men we are, love a good challenge.
Why did Edmund Hillary climb Mount Everest?
Why did Columbus set for the Americas?
Why did Jim West beat a bear to death with a stick?
Because they could.
Well, except for Jim, who was being attacked by a freaking [...]

Benjamin Franklin once said, “In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes.”
Mr. Franklin was a liar. A dirty, dirty, liar.
Well, maybe not a liar. Just misguided. There’s plenty more in this world that’s certain, but the most important of those is McRib season. And just like taxes, [...]

What’s more dense than The Arches Cluster, cheesier than Chester Cheetah singing Rick Astley songs on a tour of the Eau Galle Cheese Factory, has more rice than a Fast and the Furious DVD box set, and is double-beefier than… Uh…
Double beefer… Beefier… Uhh… Hrm.
Crap. I don’t even [...]

Things the new McDonald’s Southern Style Chicken Sandwich has in it’s favor:
1) It is not directly associated with any country singers.
2) Butter. If it’s something Paula Deen is onboard with, you’ve gotta be an evil, evil person (or Calista Flockhart, who may be included in the prior, I’m not saying, [...]

Y’all can go ahead and just mark your calendars, for this is the (glorious) day that TJE (that’s this site, btw) sold out, jumped the shark, went corporate, became a shill, sold its soul, and otherwise succumbed to the shiny draw of free crap.
I received this email yesterday:
Hi JK,
I work for XXXXXXX, [...]

The Day The Commercial Lied
A long, long time ago…
I can still remember
How those Superbowl ads made me smile.
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could buy those products fast
And, maybe, I’d be happy for a while.
But Superbowl Sunday made me shiver
With every commercial they’d deliver
Images on the TV set;
Making promises they’d [...]

There’s something especially awesome about Taco Bell. I’ll never put my finger on it completely, but I know it involves magical dwarfs. And not like Snow White cutesy-named dwarfs, either. I’m talking about magical dwarf-tossee dwarfs with tattoos and mohawks. Magical dwarfs who haven’t shaved in a couple weeks and [...]

I was going to just run through McD’s last week, but at the last minute I decided I hadn’t really ate all day, so I went to Hardee’s to try their semi-latest (they had it last year, but I never got to try it) burger abomination: the Philly Cheesesteak Thickburger.
Picture, if you will, a [...]