This is the part where I rant about how much things are derivative now, and excessively link back to previous posts. Just for the record. That should be here. But I’m lazy.
So… Yah. They’re M&M’s… Peanut butter M&M’s obviously, which is a non-original derivitive itself (but freakin’ tasty, and quite [...]
Posts under ‘Candy’
Strawberried Peanut Butter M&M’s
Snickers Fu***
I’ve had it up to here with the censorship in America today.
If those brilliant bastards at Mars want to sell a Snickers Fuck, they should be able to. Why they tried putting out a candy bar called Snickers Fuck, I have no idea. But “The Man” shouldn’t be keeping fine purveyors [...]
Bacon Gumballs
OK, so I like bacon. I think this much is obvious. I’ve actually had bacon for breakfast both Saturday and Sunday this weekend. My apartment smells of the glory that is bacon, and visitors to my humble abode are both amazed and astounded. “Where did you get that incredible air freshener?”, [...]
Mo’s Bacon Bar
You got your bacon in my chocolate!
You got your chocolate in my bacon!
Two great tastes that taste great together… Right?
Right?
Right!?!
Hell if I know. I’m just a simple man, born and raised in Corn Field, Illinois.
So, by association, I apparently like the simple things in life… Trucks… Corn… Meat… Cheap… beer… [...]
Ice Breakers Iced Tea Mints
If I could have one of my wildest wishes come true, it would be to have a fifth nipple. I’m already good on nipples one and two obviously, being a normal human. Nipple three, was something that just randomly showed up later in life when I needed it most. Just like how [...]
Snickers Adventure Bar
…In a world where the candy industry has grown stagnant…
Oh, sorry. Emphasis.
…In a world… Where the candy industry… Has grown stagnant…
Better.
…In a world where the candy industry has grown stagnant… Where movie tie-ins and special edition treat introductions had slowed down to a mere annoyance…
…ONLY ONE [...]
Chocolate Mix Skittles
Hello, “Curious Bystanders Who Let JK Do Irreparable Harm to His Body By Letting Him Eat All This Crap For Your Amusement!” My name is SpaceMonkeyX and I am a special guest correspondent for this entry of “Things JK Eats.”
You’re probably wondering why I’m here instead of JK. In an attempt to [...]
Snickers Nut ‘n Butter Crunch
‘Nnnn bop!
“And” is perhaps one of the most complicated, diverse, mystifying, and French words in the English language. A heavy, heavy weight it bears on its shoulders, everywhere it goes, being called upon by strangers to connect words and phrases, much like the semantical volunteer fireman.
So, it should come as no surprise [...]
3 Musketeers Mint with Dark Chocolate
One for all, and all for… minty versions of things we’ve already had!
Humans are awesome. We’re never happy with leaving well enough alone (I’m looking at you, George Lucas, as well as the Pop-Tart Folks). Everything can be improved upon, or at least that’s what “The Man” wants you think, so he [...]
Reese’s Peanut Butter & Banana Creme Cups
Remember Alf? He’s back! In Pog form!
Of course, by “Alf”, I mean Elvis Presley’s (fat version, natch) soul, and by “Pog” I mean money-grubbing-limited edition-peanut-butter-cup.
So, they’re really one in the same.
Of course, it’s no coincidence that Elvis Aaron Presley is an anagram for…. Wait for it…
…
Reese’s [...]

